I went to coffee with Jerrad tonight and he reminded me that I have a xanga! Yes, it has been FOREVER! I realize that. Also, xanga has changed a bunch of stuff around and I feel lost. I don't like it.

Wow, where do I even begin? So much has happened. Many many changes in my life and to be honest I don't feel like writing about them tonight only to say that I've learned that I'm stronger than I think but I need God more than I ever knew. Life is indeed hard but God is good. He is my strength when I am weak and for that I am thankful. That is all I feel like saying on the issue for now. Perhaps later I'll be able to write about what's changed my life but for now I'm not ready. It's too fresh.

So, to change subjects completely...I'm totally excited about tomorrow night. It's girls night which consists of dinner, Sex and the City movie, and martinis! Yay, yay, yay! I can't wait!

Ok, well perhaps I'll blog again soon but no promises.

Wow! It. has. been. fovever! I know this. I accept this. What can I say? I sort of forgot about my xanga for awhile. But here I am not at work due to massive amounts of snow which resulted in me having a snow day on my birthday! Happy day! But now I'm bored and ready to venture out of my apartment but Nate wants to come over before his closing to wish me a happy birthday...cute, yes. Except that it means that I have to hang out here till he finishes working and comes and I'm ready to hit the mall with my bday money! Oh well...

So here's the update...I'll start with the good. Nate and I are still together and I love him more than anything! I'm so very thankful to have him in my life. He my supporter, encourager and entertainer. Hmm...what else? Well I got to go a conference in Chicage last week. I felt like such a grown up! My coworker and I got to go to some great workshops, stay in the Hyatt which was lovely, and eat at the Cheescake Factory downtown. Overall a good time even though I was really hoping to get together with Rachel as I miss her dearly.

And now the bad...a couple of weeks ago my dad went to the ER and learned that the cancer has spread to his brain. Not just one spot...several. He had an appointment with the radiation dr. today and he learned that the cyberknife procedure is not an option for him because of the number of tumors in his brain. Instead he has to have whole brain radiation where there is quite a risk of memory loss as well as other side effects. The dr. told him that they are really just focusing on getting the tumors to stop growing...not get smaller. That most likely won't happen. My dad took this pretty hard. I'm scared. I'm not ready to lose my dad and I feel like its going to happen far sooner than I'm prepared for. You might read this and think I'm being very pessimistic but everything we've feared so far has come true. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.

Ok...so that was a depressing end to this post. Oh here's a better way to end...my parents have gotten to know Nate over the past few weeks and they like him! Yay! I'm going to meet his parents on Sunday...yikes!

Ok a lot has happened so its clearly time for an update. I sort of forgot about xanga for awhile! Oops!

Anyhow, life has been good lately. I feel like things are back to normal for me. My dad just has 3 chemo treatments left! I'm amazed at how fast the past 6 months have gone by. I'm anxious to find out the results after the chemo is finished. Hopefully all the cancer will be gone and we can move on from this place in our lives. But regardless I feel like my family is functioning normally again and that feels so good!

I recently joined the church I've been attending for the past year. When I think about how good God has been to me in regards of bringing to a group of people who truly love and support each other, I am just amazed. I don't think I would have made it through this past summer had it not been from the support of my small group. I have met some truly amazing people who love God and love people. They are genuine and accepting and that is something that unfortunately is hard to find especially in "christian" circles. They have driven me closer to Jesus and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends.

I've made it through a month of not being sick! Hooray! I finally feel like I'm back to my old self and I like it! Hopefully this healthy streak will continue.

And now, I've saved the best for last. I've been dating the most amazing man for almost a month now. It amazes me to see how God brought us together. The timing was perfect. I never knew a relationship could be like this. It makes me see how one sided my previous relationship was. I have never felt so loved or appreciated. And I'm in love! That's right! I have never been in love before but I know, even though we haven't been together long, that I love Nate. I just do. Ok, enough gushing. Just know, that I'm happy and blessed and loved. And most of all thankful!

God is good. That's all!